I love me some Tom Brady, the football player.
I tolerate me some Tom Brady, the guy with a lot of shady friends and quiestonable relationships.
I'm very much dreading me some Tom Brady, future infomercial pitchman, lifestyle guru, and male Gwyneth Paltrow.
I mean, why can't the guy just lend his name and likeness to a product that will break the second it's out of the box? Or maybe one that will slowly kill you with chemicals or give you diabetes? Ya know, like every other respectable retired athlete?! Hell, I'd even tolerate a car dealership, a real estate firm, a ponzi scheme, or a chain of tacky family restaurants! (ideally, he'd partner with TCBY on a chain of marijuana infused ice cream parlors called THCB12's)...
But for this?! For a book littered with unproven pseudo-science and marketed with a charming smile and an "ah shucks, well it works for me!"? No, sir. For this, I will not stand! I mean, I totally will stand. Because I really don't care. But I'd much prefer that Tom Brady just become the next puppet-governor of California, rather than the face of an empire that slings bars and beverages seemingly right out of Idiocracy...
Now this!
Week 3 Picks
New England Patriots (-13.5) vs Houston Texans
Baltimore Ravens (-3.5) vs Jacksonville Jaguars (London)
Buffalo Bills (+3.5) vs Denver Broncos
Carolina Panthers (-5.5) vs New Orleans Saints
Pittsburgh Steelers (-6.5) @ Chicago Bears
Minnesota Vikings (-1.5) vs Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Detroit Lions (+3) vs Atlanta Falcons
Indianapolis Colts (+1.5) vs Cleveland Browns
New York Jets (+6) vs Miami Dolphins
Philadelphia Eagles (-6) vs New York Giants
Tennessee Titans (-2.5) vs Seattle Seahawks
Green Bay Packers (-9) vs Cincinnati Bengals
LA Chargers (+3) vs Kansas City Chiefs
Oakland Raiders (-3) @ Washington Tedskins
Dallas Cowboys (-3) @ Arizona Cardinals
Baltimore Ravens (-3.5) vs Jacksonville Jaguars (London)
Buffalo Bills (+3.5) vs Denver Broncos
Carolina Panthers (-5.5) vs New Orleans Saints
Pittsburgh Steelers (-6.5) @ Chicago Bears
Minnesota Vikings (-1.5) vs Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Detroit Lions (+3) vs Atlanta Falcons
Indianapolis Colts (+1.5) vs Cleveland Browns
New York Jets (+6) vs Miami Dolphins
Philadelphia Eagles (-6) vs New York Giants
Tennessee Titans (-2.5) vs Seattle Seahawks
Green Bay Packers (-9) vs Cincinnati Bengals
LA Chargers (+3) vs Kansas City Chiefs
Oakland Raiders (-3) @ Washington Tedskins
Dallas Cowboys (-3) @ Arizona Cardinals
Last Week: 7-7-1
Overall: 14-13-3 (.512)
ALL TIME: 1555-1138-96 (.575)
See, Tom? Now this is how you go about acceptably selling a lifestyle brand. I mean, I'm not entirely sure what's being sold here. Pools? Pillows? Sheets? Mattresses? Anti-gravity shoulder harnesses?? Who knows?! But whatever it is, you can go ahead and consider me a lifelong customer...
Top 25 Picks
Vanderbilt (+18.5) vs (1) Alabama
(2) Clemson (-34) vs Boston College
Iowa (+13) vs (4) Penn St.
California (+17.5) vs (5) USC
(6) Oklahoma St. (-12.5) vs (16) TCU
Purdue (+10.5) vs (8) Michigan
(11) Georgia (-5.5) vs (17) Mississippi St.
(12) Florida St. (-11.5) vs NC State
(13) Virginia Tech (-28) vs Old Dominion
(20) Florida (-1) @ Kentucky
Air Force (+3.5) vs (22) San Diego St.
(25) LSU (-21) vs Syracuse
(12) Florida St. (-11.5) vs NC State
(13) Virginia Tech (-28) vs Old Dominion
(20) Florida (-1) @ Kentucky
Air Force (+3.5) vs (22) San Diego St.
(25) LSU (-21) vs Syracuse
Last Week: 6-4-0
Overall: 8-8-0 (.500)
2 comments:
You are too funny!
😁😁😁
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